At Some Point

A face can tell so many things about a person. A face is like the symbolic reflection of a story. Not a tale of entire life, but a little story at the moment. And for this, I feel, the eyes and the mind play the catalyst in the reaction between the beholder and the subject. I, obviously, came across many different people during my job in Rasuwa and I do remember almost all the people I worked with. The first name to come is Mr. Kang, a Korean construction manager, because of the man that he was and the hard times he gave us. I was annoyed and angry with him but it was just the way he used to work. It was mostly kids, whom I was more interested to interact with. Whether it was the children of workers or the local kids of the village, I found them more intriguing. There was a school but that was not functioning well; the local kids were busier in household chores anyway. The situation of children of workers was even sadder as they had to stay up in the camps with very limited basics...

Do you have to be in a bigger stature to have a big dream? Cannot you pursue your dream that is something other than one would call an ideal one? What price actually do you have to pay for your dreams? It is hard being a dreamer, until and unless you turn out to be an achiever. And that is a long way there, definitely full of hardships, judgments, obstacles, and what not. It takes a courage to take a step towards your chosen path but it takes more of it to get moving on without stopping, to rise again after you fall, to keep on hoping when no one but only you believe yourself. What is an ideal life? Finish certain level of study, get a job, marry, have kids, earn for a family, and then the responsibilities for your children; the cycle continues with generation. Would I be crazy if I have other plans for my life than those? Would I be crazy because I want all those things, but in a different way? Would I be crazy if I determine to go on my own way and not follow the path eve...

Okay, yes, I want closeness. I seek affection. Even though I’m pretty much happy by myself, I tend to search for another soul, perhaps with the word ‘mate’ after it! Hmmm… When I walk in the evenings, I wish for you, to walk beside me. Hold a hand, may be? I want to keep talking to you for long, longer. I want to share my silence with you, and listen to yours. I want to tell you my secrets and behold yours. Together we might build our own world. How imaginary! How fictitious! But this is the thing in my head. I dream of you with my eyes wide open. Who are you? Who are you? Why are you in my head? I don’t even know your face. And I don’t care because I know that however you would be, you are gonna be the one I need. Wouldn’t I be the same for you? Sometimes, I want to go away. Far from here, anywhere….where there is serenity, calmness and the raw fragrance of the earth. And I want to devour that feeling, live that experience, with you by my side. I am crazy, yes. But I a...

How long should you be connected to a person for him/her to become the one, who when leaves, makes you feel sad? This is a relative thing: the answers differ with each individual for sure. If you ask me, a single day can make me develop such feelings for a person. When you feel the connection from inside, a time period is but just a number. You can be friends with someone since your childhood and yet the presence or absence of that person might not differ much to your life. But someone whom you have in your life for a little while might just mean much valuable to you. That is why, I now realize, it is said that the length of time does not matter, but its depth does. So, how do you know somebody you meet or have is that someone ? The bad part is, most of the times, you get to realize it only after the person is gone from your life. It is such a sad thing, I know. We all know. It is a rare case that we know that ‘ someone ’ while the person is still in our life....

Same dreams, unconquered yet,  but have been blossoming more than ever...  Same hopes, in a new cover perhaps,  been pushing to hold for a long and a little more...  The similar rumblings inside a head The usual war between a mind and a heart Have a soul ever got a chance to calm, I wonder! The wondering is the same again, as seems everything else.  But the calendar changes again. The new dates and the deadlines, yeah, I got one more year to hold! For those dreams, and hopes and a new one, that this year will see something better.  

Everything has a time-period. This all is temporary; nothing is permanent here. I don’t remember how many times I felt sad and how many times my heart was filled with happiness. I don’t remember how many times I felt lonely and alone. These feelings come and go constantly, in the same way, people do in our life. My life is the sky and these feelings are the clouds in it. I feel funny that I once used to think how I could live without something/someone. Well, I am still alive without those. Things or people do not control our life unless we ourselves let our life to be controlled. Those hopes and hopelessness are long gone now. I have new ones. I used to wish (maybe I still do) to have a group of few friends, living in the same neighborhood and being together always. Perhaps, this was childish of me because it ain’t practical. Friendships change. The strengths of relations change. Either it gets stronger or it weakens. Only on the departures, we actually feel how fa...

There… We were sitting on the steps outside Chatting about a thing and many Warming our body with a dim ray of sunlight We were in office. There… Works were yet to be done Laptops were charge-less Load shedding was ruling over We were free, literally. There… The gate was wide open right before us And nobody there to hold back We could have gone We could have left. There… We couldn’t leave and go somewhere else We couldn’t use the time as we wanted to We couldn’t decide on ourselves Or, we didn’t dare to? There… Rules were the chains And discipline, the boundary We were almost the prisoners, actually Prisoners of what? There… Of money! That we have been working so hard for Of our brain, That has been running by the norms of society There… We were prisoners of our own thoughts! We still are.

If you are a Nepali born in the month of Kartik (October 18 - November 16), then you might have probably come across these things. 1.        Which month are you born? “Which month are you born?” -           Kartik “Eh! Kattike po?” Digest the sarcasm. Ha-ha! 2.        Your birthday might fall on the day of Kukur Tihar! No. 1 was the general kind-of-funny gesture from the people. More kind-of-funnier is when you have your birthday on Kukur Tihar and you get wishes with a little bit of extra funny words added on facebook wall. I personally feel that all those who are born in Kartik get their birthday on this very Kukur Tihar at least once in a life. I love dogs, I don’t feel bad. J Moreover, I have already witnessed that ‘day’ four years back. Best thing about that was I had quite a memorable birthday that year, thanks to my friends who surprised me on a midnight ...

It has been almost two weeks of the miserable life in Kathmandu. Everybody is angry, which is very obvious and normal feeling for the time being. Meanwhile, it has been almost two months of such misery in Terai. What would have been life there like!! This ‘undeclared’ blockade of India to Nepal has been turning the lives of Nepalese messed up. The fuel scarcity is in its peak - results being seen daily on the streets of Kathmandu. The long traffic jams are no more and the road sees very less vehicles running. Instead, long queues of vehicles are seen at the oil pumps. The crowd in public vehicles is skyrocketed! It has been okay not to follow the traffic rules. Every public vehicle from buses to micro-buses is carrying passengers on hood, on ladder at the back of vehicle, on doors and windows too! The number of people walking all the way is growing each day. There is no choice as is no fuel. The hotels are slowly being closed due to unavailability of cooking gas. The markets ...

For the group of people like us, our Kathmandu diaries mostly start right after we are done with our SLC exams. You might already have understood by now that whom people-like-us mean. I cannot generalize things for all but there are things that are likely common for people who belong to middle class family from out-of-valley. I, being one, am trying to share some pieces of my life here in the valley through this blog and somewhere amidst these blogging and sharing, I feel that I can relate many matters to others and theirs to mine. Coming to the capital as a kid with parents and coming to the capital to stay by yourself for the sake of study and stuff are much different. One has grown up enough to live alone (not literally though) and needs to grow further, for the future. One is now not holding hands of mom-dad and following them to the zoo and cinema halls. The excitement and nervousness for college life replace those amusements and fun as a kid. It’s all about TIME, why shou...

It was okay, it was all good. You came. We talked We laughed We walked We shared moments. You went. Left me in the sky with the memories sometimes cheering me up sometimes haunting me inside. I'm trying to land I'm trying to fly higher in between, I'm stuck in the air among the clouds with the memories sometimes making me smile sometimes haunting me inside.

We're as devastated as our cultural heritages are. We're as heartbroken as our brothers and sisters are. We've lost too much to keep calm. We're as shaken as the tremors shook our Nepal. But, we have hopes. Thank you all the people and all the countries for helping us in these darkest hours of our country. Now, we see Humanity exists. Thank you for every single gesture of help. (photo source: facebook) We're lucky that we are safe, have shelters under tents on nearby field and have foods to eat. Many   out there are helpless. Many of us are volunteering, and many of us are willing but not being able as the fear has hit us hard and are out of clue to start from where. But, let's try...as much as we can do. Share a packet of noodle or a bottle of water, anything we think is necessary. Rest in peace all the lost souls. Get well soon injured folks. Stay safe lucky ones. If God has something to do with this disaster, God will also look after us. Yes, we...

Calendar changed. Another year passed. Same as usual - the dreams and the hopes are still unconquered and the taste of life is still mixed-up. Different in just the way those previous years used to be for everyday is new in itself and each year is different from another. Good moments and bad moments. Many mistakes and few prides. Little love and no fights. Many arguments! Above all, ‘explore’ would be the word I wanna use for my year. Not much as I dream, but certainly more than ever before. Everybody is struggling for his or her own goals, some clear and some blurred. It feels as if graduating is the toughest work one has to do while in college years but the real struggle hits hard when one has to step on the real working life. There are tougher things we have to accomplish, truths we need to realize and the system we may not like. Too much gloss is in lights, too much gloom in darks - confusion everywhere around. When I was doing my first job as a civil engineer in a rural ...

Many people in love often take a vow to live together and die together. May be it’s the influence of movies and love songs! Of course, they can live together but not all of them get lucky enough to die together. May be not anyone! I have seen such things in movies only. However, passing so many years together is really admirable. Sharing joys and grieves with each other, taking care of one another for a long time without getting love fade away might be a tough task but not impossible. Seeing old couples reminds me so. May be this very experience becomes the perks of being old when you reach that stage in your life. Looking into my own life, I have very loving grandparents who are now in their sixties and obviously, the natural rituals of oldness have been covering them for long time now. Whenever they are about to visit the hospital, my grandmother says, “ it is difficult for him to go alone, he cannot see properly; if I go with him, it will be easy to take care of him .”And I th...

You arrive at a theater and decide to watch a movie alone. You've a full day free and there are not one but three or four nice movies playing but you're aware that you've got money for just one movie ticket. Now, if it is said that not any one of them has your favorite actor or actress, and that you cannot walk away without watching movie what will you do? May be you go random. Or how will you pick up one?  You are buying a shirt. Same case, you are stuck between two or three really nice shirts but you've got a budget for only one. Nice colors, nice prints, nice designs, nice fit. How will you choose one? Dilemma, we call it, right? As far as I have come across some situations, I call it illusion. A Big One. When you get one, many other options appear at the same time but when you have not got one, not a single one pops out. Either nothing or everything! It creates confusion. Its like too much light creating a large glow making you unable to see properly.  ...

Its so obvious that we all are busy with our own life, and the people we talk in person or chat in facebook are the ones we either meet often or feel close to. But we all do have so many friends, not all of them are in contact. We may have seen their activities on facebook, but not talked for years. Its so common these days.  Nevertheless, getting in talk with old pal from school or any folk from past after years and years is pretty much refreshing. It makes us remember old days and brings down the memories in a lane. It surely starts with hi/hello making the recipient shocked for an instant and then obviously gets into " long time, ya ?" Talks can go longer with so many questions about each other's life to common friends' life. And we may go shocked or weird or aww... or really-so-so-long-feeling  frequently in between talks. We surely say " keep in touch " at the end. This happens. Having said all these, it however depends on the nature of friendshi...