Increasing Women Violence and Our Mindset: Gender Discrimination and Gender Equality

Why are a majority of women in our country backward? Is it because there is a male-dominated society in Nepal? Yes, to some extent. But so is the world overall. And whilst world is suffering from the problem, have we thought deeply about the issue and its causes and solutions? The current time is transition phase all over the world when there comes the question of gender equality. It definitely takes quite a time to eradicate the gender discrimination completely but to let time carry all the duties on its shoulder is a big no-no. Change must come first in us and in our way of thinking. Change must start from the home. This problem might seem lesser in frequency or priority in developed nations but in the developing countries like ours, it is the most serious social problem, from ages back to the moment now. So, are we really behaving like a human or just showing off our humane words on social networking sites?

People are more educated and literate now. Media is much more powerful than ever before. Awareness programs and campaigns are big in numbers. There are so many improvements and developments within the social norms and values besides the physical infrastructures. Women empowerment is the talk of the world and is really accelerating now. Days are gone when there used to be sadness when a girl is born and a party when it’s a boy. But are they really gone? No, not the roots! What worth is education if it doesn’t stop us from discriminating? What is its essence if it let us commit a crime with our full sense?  What kind of aware are we if we remain silent on seeing the violence? What strength have females acquired if they cannot stand on their selves against an assault? What manhood are males being proud of when all they are doing is raping a girl and blaming her back for provoking them to do so? Why? Why is rate of a heinous crime like rape increasing day by day despite all the protests and the so-called punishments, when it is supposed to fall down? Some things are not going right way? Yes, it’s our thinking, first and only then all of the other reasons! 

I will talk about the society I have seen. Starting from the home, almost all of our mothers still seek permission, in the name of advice, from our fathers for any decisions they can take on their own. Consulting with each other is very good and important but a majority of moms still give a nod for something only when dads agree after all the consultation is done. Tradition followed after, huh? Also, many people are nowadays purchasing the properties in their wives’ names. Good practice, no doubts. But is that really a respect-love-sharing or just a way of getting a discount on tax one needs to pay to the government? How many sisters always carry household chores while the brothers have fun around? Not all, but not less as well. How easy and fast it would be if all of the members contribute to it? Moreover, daughters are told not to go out alone or get home early before the night hits because the world out there is bad, men become the criminal ghosts at night. Sadly, it seems true and it’s being proved more often these days. Why are the sons not being responsible? Why are the brothers not realizing that they also have females in their homes who if get harmed, how much hurt they would be? 

I have met the men who sleep with as many women as they get to satisfy their thirst and later talk bad about them. In this case, women can have their own reasons but they can be guilty equally, I’ll come on this later. I have seen some people getting excited with the news of rape, seriously! And I have seen the people who have made the girls pregnant and make them undergo abortion like nothing happened. Seriously? They can get the condoms easily with just a few rupees, phew!! These things happen mostly in rural areas where modernization has just entered and is making its way. Girls also need to be more careful about such things; however even if they are not so educated (relative to villages), why are the knowledgeable men losing their sense? I don’t see this as any masculine trait.

There still are men who treat their wives just like a piece of shit; scolding, abusing and dominating most of the time! There still are people who want a son at any cost to move forward the family hierarchy. And the people who use girls for their time-pass like they are some use-and-throw razor can still be found easily. Take a break, no, take an exit, from these shitty thoughts and habits. World will see more harmony and prosperity if each of us start to bring our mindset on the right track and not forget that we have the humanity, all of us.

Rape - the word that evokes anger and only anger towards the rapists. Everyday newspapers comprise some sort of news about rape. What is more saddening and painful is when they say it’s their own fathers or uncles or relatives or teachers who are the rapists!!!  How can they be called fathers or uncles when all they have got is criminal hearts? Just because the DNAs match? What does the teacher teach to students when he himself does such bullshit? It is extremely heartbreaking that six-year-old kids are being raped and are dying in pain; this is the loss of a nation and the whole humanity, not only the parents of that innocent soul. Even more worse is women not being able to come front for complaint and the mothers too being helpless because they’re women too and also, parents telling their daughters to shut up for the sake of family prestige. Till when? One rapist in India blamed a girl from jail that it’s the girl’s fault to provoke him and not his who raped and murdered! How can he even blabber that? And for god’s sake, who is the lawyer advocating by his side? Do we have a law? Yes, we have, i.e. rapists can get bail for few thousand rupees! 

Little schoolgirls are being victimized by acid attack. Many small girls are still being married before they turn sixteen. Some girls are being burnt alive by their own husbands for not bringing as much dowry as asked for. And the list goes on. These hateful acts that some of the men are performing and moreover stating the reasons such as male honor, anger triggered by rejection, dowry and many more are making the whole male species shameful. 

Shouldn’t the government take some actions? They have taken some, right? Isn’t it necessary that the organizations built for social benefits must work genuinely towards their goal? Some of them are working truly on it, aren’t they? But this is not enough, never. Every responsible NGOs and INGOs should come into action, not just holding the banner of their name. Government must apply some strong laws against the violence because it’s the lack of a strong law and mainly the way in executing it firmly that is helping the people not to be afraid of committing a crime. Until and unless culprits are punished strongly, laws won’t seem as effective as it should be. And the media must play the positive catalyst that spreads the awareness to every corner available. Above all these measures, isn’t it must that we change our perception of women? Isn’t it important that we must behave like a human first? We, in first, should become the responsible citizen and the responsible human being.

We will write the feelings on walls of facebook and tweet on twitter but when it comes to reality, the same society eyes the victim with hateful sight. They need love, support, and courage, not the pity and hatred and awkwardness. At least, one who is guilty needs punishment, much stronger that other criminal minds get afraid even in the name of rape; that they shiver on the thinking of assaulting women, let alone commit it.

Okay, men have been dominating over women and some of them dogs are really proving it each day by losing the control over their pants and their goddamn manliness. Having said all these, what I have also seen is in many cases, women themselves have been mean to other women. News says that some lady is running marriage bureau for selling the innocent poor girls to foreign countries. It’s often ladies in the brothel who holds the command over the business of sex. Ones who come on their own under their own circumstances are not to be judged because that’s their job and brothels can hardly be stopped completely. But it's definitely a crime if a girl is forced to do so. Also, as I mentioned earlier, in some cases women themselves can be equally guilty. To have a physical relation is no big deal; both sexes need this. But what can be said to those girls who do not care to take a caution despite having knowledge and no pressure? Only men are not to be blamed in such cases, no? 

Different things like these make issues more complex. On one side, the world is taking steps towards women empowerment and on the other, some women are misusing the power they’ve got. While some males are being vicious, some of the females are equaling with them by cruelty.  Shouldn’t the question of gender equality be relevantly asked here now?

Equality, the word itself means the equal treatment irrespective of the differences; so he and she are to be treated equally all over the world, for the true gender equality. And by the word ‘gender equality’, it involves all the heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and transsexual men and women because the number of genders is only two – male and female. The only main difference between two genders is the genitals and the reproductive system. For this particular point and not only this but many other steps, He needs She. There is existence, importance and beauty of them only when both of the sexes are equally contributing. There should be no such thing as superior and inferior in between. The thing that is really necessary to uproot gender discrimination is the mutual understanding, cooperation and mutual respect between men and women, and this comes only when we think in such a way and are ready to do so with our full heart and soul and mind.

To cite a few good things ongoing, genuine initiatives continuously supported by people like Anuradha Koirala (Maiti Nepal), Emma Watson (HeForShe), Farhan Akhtar (MARD), Priyanka Chopra (Girls’ Education), TNM magazine team and the awareness they are spreading with the latest power packed photo shoot with Priyanka Karki on cover about the violence, etc. and very few good friends of mine who truly support such causes has hit a considerable effect on me. I guess many others feel the same way. People whose voices get a large attention must support the causes. Media is playing a prominent role in these matters and is very effective means of awareness.

I am not generalizing all kind of people as a whole, for we know not everyone is same; I am trying to think from the perspective of ‘we’ – as human beings. I am not saying that I have no faults or I’m totally good but I’m definitely saying that I mean all the things I said, that I do worry about all the issues I stated, that I, like many others, am wishing for the better tomorrow and that I am trying to bring out better me. I am trying to remove whatever negative thinking there is in me. I am starting from myself; I’m inspired by some good souls I’ve seen. And I do believe that all of us can do the same for the better change, for the peace and harmony; that we will take a step first towards positivity before criticizing and judging; that one day all of these problems will disappear and free the world from the stains to enhance the glorious beauty of the earth.